You heard me right.

Some sex advice from The Kids In The Hall. From Nerve, the sex website, of course.

My favorite part?

I’m dating someone from Canada, a land I know nothing about. Are there any nation-specific sexual behaviors I should be aware of?
DF: Of course, we’re a socialist people, so most sex in Canada is communal.
ST: And paid for by the government. And what else are we famous for? Making love in a canoe. And apparently Canadians like anal sex a lot.
DF: I just thought that was teenage girls who are really into anal right now? Because of the Bush Administration. You know, abstinence-only sex education. For eight years.
ST: Oh, I thought that the Bush Administration was just your term for the vagina. “May I touch your Bush Administration?”
DF: No, there’s an entire generation that’s only having anal sex now. All these girls think that it keeps them a virgin.
ST: That’s crazy! That never happened in our day.
DF: Never. You wouldn’t even ask your wife of ten years. And even then, she would divorce you.
ST: So young kids are having more anal sex than gay guys? Because I know a lot of gay guys that won’t. I wish I was a teenage girl! I had only heard about the blowjob culture, how blowjobs are just a “kiss” now, since the Clinton Administration at least.
DF: Oh yeah, and everyone can deep throat now.
ST: What? So then what’s the point of being gay? They’ve taken away our purpose! I mean, that’s the only reason that straight men let us blow them, because we could deep throat. Now every girl can do that? I’ve become redundant! Teenage girls are making gay men irrelevant. Gay marriage and teenage girls are making gay men irrelevant. What do you think the Obama Administration will give rise to? Felching?
DF: Elegance. Putting on a nice suit. Treating a lady with respect.
ST: And slow dancing.
DF: “May I say that you look beautiful tonight, my darling?” That’s the new fad in sexual behavior.
ST: I’m still reeling from the anal sex thing. I don’t even understand the world we’re living in anymore.
DF: I remember when I was single before my last marriage, I’d met one girl who could deep throat. Now, it’s like every woman I’ve slept with in the last few years.

No related posts.